Check and balance

I have always want to motivate myself by having check and balance as what others propose. But I dont really understand what is check and balance all about. Is it 'check' means we have to ensure we are already fill ourselve with knowledge, skill and know how? Or 'check' represents being looking at ourselves' attitude and aptitude ? I wonder once I've tried hard to check whether I am a good person by going for motivation course, seminar and etc.. and finally ended up with nothing. I found out it is imbalance to motivate only physically but deep inside in my soul covering up with evil thoughts curiousity, jealousy, and other bad intentions towards others. How to manage and go about having check and balance in ensuring ourselve are highly motivated? This is the question in mind and up to my age now I have yet to find an or some concrete solutions towards answering that. I am sure you over there or where ever in this world may not be many but a few perhaps have gone through this kind of situation and in searching for the answer will meet the solution that can be shared in this blog.. Please post to me.